but i'm dealing
i met a boy on the cruise i went on so that was fun
i had 3 guys following me around
it was funny
i'm going to nicoles this weekend
that'll be fun

and i saw dart
and frank
and jeremy
the first one is good
the other ones are retarded
i had a lot of fun though
i went to cape may
now i'm going to pick up my bff nickicole
who i love
wow i have hung out with her alot
it's been a great summer so far
though i get kinda sad cause i miss my guy friends
i misses you guys :(
<3

i hope you guys are to ^_^

i have no friends anymore.. the guy that i really liked basically is saysing i'm annoying and pretty much wants nothing to do with me after months of saying he loved me and it all started 2 days ago cause he was bored and asked a girl out.. much prettier then me.. why am i not surprised.. i seriously am so alone.. and i'm not just complaining.. i see everyone in there little groups of friends making memories.. and having fun.. i don't have that.. and probably never will.. lets go through the list... kelly leaves me all the time for monika and basically is just a brat towards me.. grace has her friends.. joanna has marissa and jen.. she doens't need me anymore.. matt, robby, and all them have there little boys club and i'm not funny or whatever or in to the same things.. caleb was probably the only one keeping me sane and kept me from crying and was helping me with all this bulimia and the crazyness of everything thats been happeing.. but he told me today i should just stop talking to him cause he doens't care anymore.. that i'm just annoying.. i seriously don't want to live anymore.. i just want to be happy and i don't have that.. i don't have God anymore.. she stoped listening.. just like everyone else.. ...

and i don't know how to fix it
i'm only making it worse
i need help
but i can't tell anyone

the artical
people we have to do something
we need to stop sitting around being narasistic
watching mtv
hanging out at the mall and making fun of others
we need to wake up
and make our lives matter
we need to help
we say we're christians
but we're the laziest ever
this girl died and she knew a false religion
she died because she went against it
we need to stop going against what we say we beleive
and tell everyone
jesus is coming soon!
and we need to tell the world




he's coming

well today wasn't so great, we had to disect frogs and i cried and josh made fun of me, though john ricci was nice which made me happy
also i looked super cute today.. i got so many comliments for this green sun dress, it made me feel great, specailly when matt and sterlin said i was cute.. it made me super super happy... also today is matt's birthdat.. happy birthday yay<3


i'm really 'cited about tis weekend. i might be going to kel's and the play and all that.. it should be great fun ^_^
i'm starting a new painting soon, inspired by a drawing a did in spanish, it's probably gonna be one of the best i've ever made, also it's gonna be big

i'm trying to learn to skate better, so i can be amazing and it'll be good exercise.. and i won't be so chubby anymore... well thats all for now

i have no close friends, i never have and i have no one to have adventures with..i want to make memories but all my "friends" never want to spend time with me or would rather spend they're time with otehr friends. i'm really sick of being a loner. i'm sick of being alone, and sad and having to spend my summers by myself, though last summer was the exception, i had someone last summer, but he doens't want me anymore just like everyone else.. and it's really upsetting, everyone else has they're friends and they little groupds..matt, shawn, robby and what not.. grace, allisa and the other girls.. dillon, andrew and josh.. and i fit in no where.. me and kel are like best friends but her parnets don't like me at all so it's hard to be close, and so once again i'm left to try to fit into a group.. but it never works, matt just refuses to be nice, specailly when jordan's there, shawn and robby i love them but they are pretty cliquey..grace adn them are super we don;t eat adn you do so we're gonna go do our awesome stuff adn no bother with you..dillon and them are guys that just don't want me there..i just don't know what to do with myself..it's getting rediculous...i mean i had the best day yesterday with my mom but i would of loved for it to have also been with a friend that wanted to be with me and make memmories and laugh with.. but i don't have any friends like that.. even when i was friends with joanna and marissa i always felt like the odd man out cause i'm quieter and not as into shopping and stealing and smoking and what not.. it makes me feel like i'm never gonna have friends.. i kinda want to say that i'm never gonna fit in and i really feel that way. it's not fun.. i just wish people were nicer to eachother...

was amazing.. i can't wait ti li can go again.. though the only part that was bad was having to sit by myself on the way home cause they're were no other seats.. bad matt abandoning his buddy.. haha... the show was great though..seriously it was amazing... though the audiance sucked.. they laughed at things that weren't funny.. and they didn't laugh at funny parts that our group laughed at cause we knew what they were talking about... just getting there was maazing though.. so much fun.. i really want to go back..
<3